A Painters Mistake
Everytime I try to paint it always ends in a mistake, a mess of reds and blues trying to masquerade themselves into something beautiful. I work really hard on my artwork, so I thought instead of messing around and trying to find a masterpiece in a eyesore , I decided I would paint a mountain. I thought it was going very well because it felt like the brush floated out of my hand and was doing all the work, but alas, it didn't end up that way. By time I was done it looked like a big umbrella. That was the last time I decided to paint ever again.
some of the 'and's can be turned into commas and thats all love your story.
ReplyDeleteI like your story, it's pretty good, but in your story, you wrote "alas" I think you mean "at last", but still, your story was good and I like how you used powerful words in your story.
ReplyDeletei meant alas it sort of an old timey word.
DeleteYou need a comma after alas, but other than that, your story is amazing! I especially love the first sentence.
ReplyDeleteYour story was well developed and I think you could change the comma into a dot after mess.
ReplyDeleteYour story was well developed and I think you could change the comma into a dot after mess.
ReplyDeletethe last few bits of your story doesn't make sense
ReplyDelete