The Best Roller Coaster Ever
I usually hate roller coasters but when I saw this ride I couldn't resist, I just had to go. The next day me and my friend arrived at Play-land and got ready to search for the ride. But as we looked up a big, bright sign told us exactly where to go. We finally found it and as I joined the queue I looked ahead and saw along line of people exactly like me getting ready for the ride. Eventually we got to the front, we buckled up and BAM the ride beamed off. It's still my favourite ride.
Playland is one word with no hyphen. You need a comma after queue. I like the way your story flows neatly.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I like about your story is its not confusing. I think you can make the sentence beginnings more stronger.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I like about your story is its not confusing. I think you can make the sentence beginnings more stronger.
ReplyDelete