The Camping Disaster
It was a beautiful summers day, I was camping with my friends. Everything was going perfect, we went for a hike and then swimming in the magnificent crystal lake. We were all having so much fun! Later that day things didn't end up as planned. We never meant for it to happen but random people showed up to cause havoc. They trashed our tents and threw a whole bag of marshmallow in the fire, it made our blood curdle. Right before I got up to confront them I heard a loud beeping noise. I turned out it was my alarm clock. I never did get to finish my dream.
For summer, I'm not sure if you mean to say 'beautiful summer day' or 'beautiful summer's day'. I don't think that 'everything was going perfect' I think you should just say 'everything was going well. You need a comma after happen.
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
I like the words you used for your story. I think you could put a comma after them before the I heard a loud beeping noise. Your story was well written.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story but you have to put the prompt in the middle of a sentence. You also have to put the word 'but' in your prompt.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story, you have some sentence mistakes but I really like your story. And I liked how you used powerful words in your story. Good job!
ReplyDelete