100 word challenge week 15
Beach Disaster!!
My friend Frankie has always had a child like curiosity, but what happened that day was pure stupidity. It was a beautiful day at the beach, we were all swimming and having fun. The real chaos and embarrassment all started when my friend Frankie decided to go off on her own, time passed and we decided to go look for her. After 15 minutes we found her sitting on the ground with her hand stuck in the bottle return bin. Lets just say the lifeguard was not happy to hear a girl had her hand stuck in the return bin. That was the last time we went to that beach.
Don't forget your apostrophe after let and before the s! Also, I think childlike is either hyphenated or one word. I like how your story is unique, and and it's not from the garbage can's point of view. Great job! One more thing, I think you could make "It was a beautiful day at the beach, we were all swimming and having fun" and "Until my friend Frankie went off on her own" one sentence and have the time passed in another sentence.
ReplyDeleteI like how you paid attention to your punctuation and spelling. I suggest that you could change the first sentence a little bit because I'm not sure how does the child like curiosity connects into your story.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story. your ending was kinda boring. I think you can fix that up a little bit like making it a funny or interesting ending
ReplyDelete